Dearest B, If I do repent you shall not have the satisfaction of knowing it.
If our present and I hope last separation should spare you the anxiety which my troubled visage has sometimes communicated, it is enough.
When you return my troubles will be ended – or very nearly.
The Elders are not in very good humour with me as accessory to your departure, which they regret for their own sake at least.
Are you quite sure that I love you?
Why do you doubt it?
It is your only trespass.
… I wish we were married, and then I could do my best, and not quarrel with myself for a thousand things that you would not mind.
I must write to our sister – plead for me with her – and plead for me too with my Lord and master – beseeching him still to “love and cherish” his undutiful wife.
Seaham Hall (November 16 1814)
Lord Byron’s Wife Malcom Elwin (London: John Murray 1962)