Such Alarming Agitation!

I am thinking and feeling in the next week – and so are you perhaps.

When I recollect our last meetings!

I never was so near losing all presence of mind.

Twice before we did meet to acknowledge each other, I had caught a passing glimpse of you…

You did not see me, I believe, and I hurried my Mother away, who was alarmed at my agitation.

I was then ill – without strength enough, if I had resolution, for the necessary exertion.

Through that season I scarcely ever went out without seeing you in my mind’s eye, and fearing to see you in reality – wishing it too.

All this was buried…

I do not think you are dearer to me now than you were then – the difference is that now I know whilst I feel how dear…

I am as if talking to you – I would I were – but next week perhaps…

Good night – bless you.

Seaham Hall (October 18 1814)

Sources Used:

The Life and Letters of Anne Isabella Lady Noel Byron Ethel Colburn Mayne (London: Constable & Co Ltd 1929)

"And So I Must Let People Say What They Will Of Me" ~ Lady Byron

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