Oh! The Apprehension of Conjugal Felicity!

From you – a letter.

It adds somewhat to the almost invariable contentment which now is mine.

They who in my calm demeanour perceived not before the want of happiness, find, from the present change, that it was away.

The country-people, often as penetrating as physiognomists or “craniologists,” say, “It does one’s heart good to see our Miss – she looks as if she had been a wife these twenty years.”

They must entertain a high idea of advanced conjugal felicity. We shall prove it a just one if the length of trial be granted…

You wish to “fix on a place for our retreat.”

Have you thought of any one, if Newstead would be objectionable?

I am very easily pleased as to lodgement… and the habitation which would admit you and your sister would, I should imagine, do equally well for you and me…

The determination of this where, may not be necessary till we know more of the when, which rests with our lawyers – and the expediency of our situation may partly depend on the time.

My Mother has not had any return of illness, though I believe I was apprehensive when I last wrote to you.

Shall I continue to direct to London when you go to Newstead?

You would not wonder at my impatience to disconnect you and the post, if you knew how fearful, how sickening the association has sometimes been.

I have not yet unlearned to tremble as I open your “malgré tout.”

Seaham Hall (October 15 1814)

Sources Used:

The Life and Letters of Anne Isabella Lady Noel Byron Ethel Colburn Mayne (London: Constable & Co Ltd 1929)

"And So I Must Let People Say What They Will Of Me" ~ Lady Byron

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